Today I had a riveting dinner. And no, it wasn’t because Val was serving my all-time favorite meal (Cheeseburgers, hotdogs, fries, AND onion rings!!! Who knew life could get so good?!). It was because I was having a thrilling conversation about the Three Big Ms: Marriage, Money, and Makin babies (I realize that the last M is kind of a copout, but it just had a nice ring to it).
Now I’ve discussed the Three Big Ms plenty of times. I mean, I think about my future enough that it’s bound to come up. But this particular dinner discussion stuck out to me, but I can’t quite but my finger on why. Here’s how the discussion went down:
The first question brought to the table was, does talent make someone more attractive? We all emphatically agreed, and I think this is a generally accepted view. But why is that? My reasoning derives from this basic formula shown bellow:
If Mastering a craft makes you the best, then Master=Alpha Male.
If Alpha Male makes you the most desirable mate, then Alpha Male=Hottie.
Then according to the Transitive Property, if Master=Alpha Male, and
Alpha Male=Hottie, then Master=Hottie.
Then the conversation turned towards money. Would you mind if your spouse made more money than you? I said, certainly not. I would love to marry rich. Like honestly, where’s the downside? Maybe if you weren’t a confident individual, you would be afraid that the power dynamic would be too polarized. But I have a good feeling that I could hold my own, even with a Million-Dollar Baby. I have even said once or twice (ok, a bazillion times) that there’s no better life than that of a Basketball Wife…minus the cheating…the prenup…and the trashy reality TV show I may be asked to participate in. Please don’t mistake this as me saying I don’t want my own career! I do. I’m a talented individual, and I’m ready to make my mark on the world. But I wouldn’t mind spending my summers on a yacht or something…
Then one of my friends asked: would you mind if your spouse made less money than you? To that, I said…maybe. I know! Some of you are probably thinking that we’ve been transported back to the 50’s. And you might even be more shocked when I tell you that I am a self-identified Feminist (Word to the Woman). But honestly, my reasoning is not as hetero-normative as you think.
Basically, I justified my response by saying that ambition is an important quality to me. No matter what my future spouse does, he better be ambitious. If he wants to be a mailman, he better want to be the best mailman there ever was. If he wants to be a cashier, he better reinvent the register. To me, being driven is a sign that you at least want to be an Alpha Male, even if you aren’t one already. And if you have the level of ambition I find attractive, then you probably are making a decent living, perhaps even a spectacular one.
Does this make me a future Stepford Wife? Maybe. I hope not. Let me know what you think!
Doin me since 1991,