This Means War

So this might be one of those stories that you just had to be there for, but it was one of those moments that was just, for lack of a better term, “so college”. I live in a suite on campus and our neighbors are the typical party-going, sport-playing, loud, smelly, slightly weird, arguably too-close-to-one-another-to-be-strictly-straight kind of bros.

A couple of my roommates are friendly with them and these guys would always let themselves into our suite unannounced without any clear purpose for being there and putter around, coveting our glorious decorations, basking in our stellar wit, and generally trying to hold back their overwhelming envy for our radiating awesomeness. And so we co-existed just fine for awhile. But then, it began.

Their constant unannounced arrivals often revealed at least one of us in our underwear, as if that’s unusual considering two of them were buck naked in their common room just hanging out (literally… ha ha i’m so punny) the evening of the blackout of Snoctober. And we’re the lunatics. Regardless, they started turning our peep hole on the door inside out so they could theoretically look into the suite from the hallway, jokingly of course, but creepy nonetheless. Considering we peer out of that peep hole semi-regularly when there’s ruckus in the hallways as there usually is at night— there’s nothing like observing drunken debauchery and drama unseen— we noticed almost immediately. Not to be thwarted, they began leaving random things on our floor that, as they explained, they “had no use for but aren’t trash”. Thus, our suite began to acquire things like bales of hay, santa pez dispensers, broken spotlights, etc. We went to retaliate with our mouse cage (devoid of mice), only to realize they’d stolen our “Gossip is Not Cool” poster, which is always a fan favorite.

Over the next couple weeks, objects started disappearing from our common room. Though we had taken back our Gossip poster, they took it again along with our sword and tshirt from our wall, culminating in the theft of our bean bag chair.

In response, we retaliated with a bit of redecorating of our own. Including the acquisition of some lovely framed nautical themed paintings, a lamp for our floor, a sombrero, hammer, and a broom. Naturally we have reclaimed all of our original decorations.

just fording the sea. nbd.
we're really clever. we know.
no room is complete without a glorious seascape

Given that there are only so many places you can go from here, I suspect our pranking is nearing an end. But it’s weird to think how this is really the only time in our lives in our little bubble where this weird and random stuff can go on in. You generally trust your neighbors, leave your doors unlocked, and don’t actually fear for the safety of any of your valuables.

So there wasn’t really a point to this post, beyond a general appreciation for college silliness and dorm relations and the proof of our decorating prowess. But now this directionless post has gone on for way too long. And has ended up being a little lamer than anticipated. But hey, we think we’re clever.

So with that, I will sign off.

#socollegerightnow