“I May Not Be A Smart Man, But I Know What Love Is”

Politicians like Michelle Bachmann may not be advocates for your basic civil rights but at least they love you!

At least that’s what she said in an interview with Glenn Beck (*pause for projectile vomiting*) on her rejection of gay marriage from her aspiring presidential campaign. “I’m not homophobic. I love all men and women.” Right.

Maybe the real problem is that Bachmann doesn’t really know what love is. Moving on.

The incident that inspired even more discussion about Bachmann’s political intentions was a delicious moment with an 8 or 9 year old boy named Elijah at a book signing. He told Bachmann, “my mommy’s gay but she doesn’t need fixing,” probably at the request of his mother, but nevertheless a powerful (and necessary) statement. Bachmann then presumably shot Elijah’s mother a “icy look” and continued pretending she was a pious, upstanding American citizen.

A few points of note:

1. Social media is fly as hell. A big part of how much we know about the world that is NOT fed to us by The Man is because of social media. Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, whatever. Had Bachmann obtained control over the cell phone camera or whatever was present at this book signing, I highly doubt she would have let it and the person attached to it out of her sight. Censorship is being challenged here, and it’s an important step in the lives of the regular citizens (99%?) of this country.

2. There’s still a debate on whether or not non-heterosexual men and women should get married? Really? Come on! How many more cute, round-faced kids or dapper young men is it gonna take for people to finally get that every human being in this country deserves the right to enjoy basic civil liberties regardless of their sexual orientation? Why do I always feel these days like I could do a better leadership job with my pending BA in History than many of these unapologetically chauvinist politicians?

3. Lying is hardly an acceptable, let alone efficient, political maneuver. Michelle, don’t say you ‘love’ gay men and women when you clearly don’t. It’s not funny, and it’s not (unlike Elijah) cute. We’re not idiots. We took Psych-11, we know what lying looks like. Don’t use love to cover your whack ass. Moreover, it is my personal belief that marriage is actually a really good measurement of prejudice. The more reluctant people are to consider marriage across sexual orientations, classes, races, and so on, the more they are indeed bigots and not, as Bachmann would have you think, squishy bundles of love.