THE COMPUTER CAN DO SO MANY THINGS

As I struggled to come up with a topic for this post, I decided to dive into my own personal obsession: Microsoft Excel. True fact: In an interview this year, they asked me what I liked to do to unwind and take care of myself. My answer? “Well, I really enjoy the methodical and organized clarity that I get from playing with spreadsheets and graphs. I enjoy settling down with my laptop and working on excel.” Any guesses as to what my boss made fun of me for the rest of the year?

I am only a sweater vest and a pair of pigtails away from being this girl

I think in terms of numbers, facts, data, and lists. In light of this, I thought I might blog in the format of excel charts that demonstrate my feelings concisely and mathematically:

Chart #1
This first chart is a rendering of my theory on how to get good grades in school. Each one of us is born with a certain amount of natural intelligence (memory skillz, tenacity, efficiency, etc) and a certain amount of laziness (procrastination, tendencies towards dancing and alcohol on weekdays, affinity for television, etc). The trendline mapping the direct relationship between these factors is the standard for scoring average marks in school. To the left of this center line, there is the area illustrating how one can be super lazy and not super smart – resulting in poor grades. And on the right, the good grades received by those who are both intelligent and not very lazy:

Chart #2
I like television, but I especially like television that is made for younger viewing audiences. In this chart I have demonstrated the perfect range for TV show likeability. I have cross-referenced multiple sources and assigned each chosen show a maturity rating, with 10 being the most mature and 0 being Barney. I have then input my personal enjoyment of each show, resulting in an incredibly descriptive polynomial to describe the prime television enjoyment range:

Chart #3
For this last, rather simple pie chart (its not even Tuesday anymore), I have divided up the specific factors of a movie that will draw me into dedicating two hours of my life:

And, as an added bonus I have a sneak peak into the world of Proud Pantaloons and how she makes her movie decisions:

Wonder why she could dedicate a post to Swedish lesbians?

Marvel in wonder at my rudimentary excel prowess!